My Thoughts .

Staring blankly at my computer. The words that once meant something stares back at me. The cold hands of sadness grips my heart. I am in awe of how something so beautiful could be bad at the same time. I try to express myself verbally, I end up making things worse. I try to suppress my feelings and act like I don’t care, just so I can focus but nothing seems to be working. I am beginning to think you are no good for me..... The sound of your laugh, the face you make when you are trying to concentrate, the sound of your voice... I cannot get enough of these things. You try to make me see reasons, but I am caught up in my world of anger. I watch your lips move, lines appearing on your face as you frown... I should be listening to you but I am distracted again ... There was a wall, you came barging in with tools and found a way around it. I have nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. I have not needed my wall for as long as I can remember and that was okay because I didn’t ...

You are out here looking for something good I am sorry I wrapped you into my mess I was not trying to hurt you, I just needed to feel better I let you be my distraction and for that I am sorry A thousand words would not do justice But, I cannot be what you need right now I am not even sure what I need but I know I need to feel something because I am slowly creeping into a bad place and giving in to the darkness... -Mia xx

I gave you pieces of me willingly I trusted you to guard, protect and cherish them And then all of a sudden, you are gone and so are the pieces Why do I feel so empty? So vulnerable, so alone? No wonder I keep going back to you I do not know who I am without you... -Mia xx